Want to write a story in minutes? No writing experience? It doesn't matter! I'm about to make your wildest dreams come true. I bring you, the Plot Generator - a series of clever little tools to help you quickly formulate ideas and pass them off as your own! I did not create this, it's clearly a gift from God.
Seriously though, it's a lot of fun but if you're trying to get on with actual writing, stay away from it. You'll get sucked in, trying all sorts of stuff about celebrities and people you know in different sexual situations...or maybe that's just me. I found the Plot Generator through the erotica page and used it to write a Christmas themed story for my podcast, Fully Activated. Then I got a bit carried away and wrote another, which I'm going to share with you here. It's not on the podcast as I thought I'd better write more of my own stories for that.
Please be warned, it is very rude!
The Erotica Generator also designs the book cover - highly original as you can see.
Confessions of a Twatish Douche-bag
Twatish douche-bag, Donald Trump, is mortified after he gets carried away and admits to his ex fuck buddy, Hillary Clinton, that he longs to experiment with BDSM. Whatever must she think of him now?
Hillary is a hilarious psychopath from Mars, who also happens to be a dangerous vampire. She is short with green hair, has a terrible figure and dagger-like fangs. Despite the undeniable threat to his life, Donald finds himself unable to stop picturing Hillary's squidgy abs and terrific sausage, fantasising nightly about submitting to her deepest desires.
One evening, Donald spots Hillary flirting with the mean wanker, Katie Hopkins. Damn that Katie with her gross body and tiny boobs. Donald tortures himself with thoughts of Hillary working her man-sword into Katie's woo-woo. Donald's desperate ambition to become Hillary's sex slave begins to feel like nothing more than a dumb fantasy.
However, when Donald gets home that night, Hillary sneaks up on him from the shadows and fervently caresses his flabby man boobs with her hungry hands, before dragging him into the bedroom where she eases her fist into his chocolate starfish. He delights as his dirtiest dreams begin to come true. Hillary takes him on a journey of gagging, facials, figging* and passionate anal probing.
One night, after a thorough rimming, Donald fights back, testing how far he can push his undead lover. Defiantly, he tries to gag her. Furious, Hillary takes Donald to a crypt. At first he thinks she is going to bite him, but instead she puts horsey ears on his head and then zaps his bajingo with an electrically-charged metal wand.
As Donald lies in bed afterwards, enjoying Hillary’s pussy and reminiscing over the evening, he feels that they are finally connecting on a human level. (Also, he is less hungry.)
However, as Hillary's desires get darker still, she reveals that she has a very special task in mind for Donald, involving a really tiny strap-on, which she whips out with a look of pure glee. Donald studies the piddly little dong attached to a black harness with trepidation - does she really want him to do her with THAT? He looks into Hillary's intense, red eyes and shudders.
Will Donald be able to fully submit, or is the hilarious psychopath vampire, Hillary, going to go too far?
*I had to look 'figging' up:
"Figging is the practice of inserting a piece of skinned ginger root into the anus or the vagina of a person. It has been used as a means of punishment. It is also used as a BDSM practice." - Wikipedia
So there you go. You learn something new every day.
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